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A middle aged Yorkshire couple came in the shop the other day – I’d seen their Land Rover on our car park camera monitor.

“Reet lad,” he said, “I want a good machine for t’wife.”

I walked around her and said, “Well she seems a fair swop – but can she cook?”

“Oh, fairley,” he said, “and I’ll throw in a couple of sheep – how’s that?”

Strangley, his wife wasn’t amused.

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